Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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