Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
