I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
