Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
