hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize