You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
this hospital has no fireball
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
