omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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