I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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