just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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