Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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