Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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