when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
