I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
