I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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