Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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