I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am mentally ready for anal.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
