I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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