Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
