end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
