I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
