His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
