that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
