I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
