Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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