Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Shame - the story of my life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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