all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize