Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
