Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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