she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
