You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
