Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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