it wasn't lemon gatorade
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
