Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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