I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
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