I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
