Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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