I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
