so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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