As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
