So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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