I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
