I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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