i love accidental penises.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
