question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
