Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
