I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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