Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
