just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
