You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
