I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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