I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
