Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
