How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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