Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
