I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize