he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
