giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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