You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
