zippers are such a cool invention
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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